Confusion
by DallasWinstonLove
Summary: CurlyShepard/PonyboyCurtis Slash Fic.


Curly sighed at the one year younger greaser before wrapping his arms around his waist from behind, kissing his neck softly before resting his chin on Pony's shoulder. He rarely acted like this, not even with Ponyboy. He wasn't nice like that. Not even to his favorite greaser.

''I'm sorry, Pone.'' he said, almost mumbling. He didn't like to say sorry. Not at all. But he had to. For his Pony.

''I know, you don't need to say sorry.'' Ponyboy said quietly and Curly took Pony's hands. His hand a deep burn mark after Curly lost his temper. He did often...  
Curly didn't mean to but sometimes Pone just acted real stupid. Said really stupid things. He cared to much! And then Curly snapped. But he really cared for Pony. He really did. He just didn't always know how to show it.  
Curly trailed the burn lightly and Ponyboy winced, taking away his hand from Curly.  
Curly let go of Pony and took his shoulder in a firm grip, turning Pony around, facing him. ''Why did you wince? Why did you take your hand away? I wasn't going to hurt you.'' Curly said, raising his voice slightly.  
Pony sighed, looking like he was tired of explaining certain things.

''It still hurts, Curly...I don't think you're going to hurt me. I promise. I swear.'' Pony said and Curly nodded, pressing his forehead to Pony's, just staring into his eyes.

"You swear?" Curly asked and his voice was cracking up slightly and Pony closed his eyes at the hood.

"Yes, Curly, i swear." He said. Pony knew Curly wasn't weak. He knew that Curly was upset. Curly was broken this day. Curly had always had control on things. He always knew what his mother was doing, despite the fact that she never knew. He always was ready to pull a few strings for his brother, despite the fact that he never knew. He always got his step father away from Angela, despite the fact that she never knew. But now he had no control. This time his mother was in the hospital because she'd been beaten too hard by Frank, Tim was in the cooler for beating Frank as revenge, Angela nearly cut her wrist because of the things that had happened and was in some instution. Curly had no one now. Only Ponyboy.

Curly kissed Pony's lips roughly, but he became softer as Pony replied with tenderness. Curly would never start a tender kiss. Never. He always felt he had to be rough. To show that he was in charge. But Pony would always tone it down. Not because he didn't like it rough. Not that he didn't, but he knew Curly. Curly didn't want it rough even though he said so. Even though he was the one kissing roughly. But Curly had to look tough, no matter what. Curly brought his rough hand to the soft skin that was Pony's cheek and broke the kiss between them. He looked on him. Curly didn't quite know when it happened. When he realized he wanted. He needed the greaser. Perhaps when he saw just how torn he was after his parent's death. Maybe it was when he caught himself wanting to just cuddle him when he saw him in lunch the first day after the funeral of his parents? Curly guessed it was then. Or maybe it had always been him. Maybe, just maybe.

"I...I..." Curly started, but stopped everytime. He wanted to say the words. He really did. He wanted to say 'I love you' but he just couldn't. He didn't have the guts to do so. He was a coward.

"It's nice spending time with you..." he said instead and Ponyboy sighed. Not half as good as 'I love you' but it was good coming from Curly though. Pony took his hand and pulled him slightly with him and Curly stopped, earning a look from Pony.

"Come on, Curly. You promised me to check on her...She's your mother. And we both know you're worried about her." Pony said and Curly frowned. Pony was right and the hood didn't like it.

"No, come on. Let's skip that. We'll go to the drive-in. You'll watch a movie and i'll pick a fight then we'll leave to my place or something afterwards." Curly said, his voice surprisingly dominating. But Pony was stubborn when it came to Curly's mother because he knew that even though they fought a lot, she cared about her son and Curly cared about his mother. Not that he would ever admit that with words, but Pony knew. Pony understood him.

"You promised. Like i've promised you to always trust and love you." Pony cause, looking on the hood, taking his other hand, but winced in pain as it felt like his hand was being smashed in Curly's squeezing hand. Pony looked on Curly, not saying anything, knowing it lead no good.

Ponyboy's lip stung. A nice cut in the bottom lip and a black eye. But he shoved the thought of Curly doing that to him back in his head, looking on the greaser actually smiling to his mother. That was rare and they both knew it. And to see those two talking as if there never had been any problems in the family, it made Ponyboy smile as well.

When they walked out, Pony looked on Curly, and he frowned. Curly seemed troubled. Seemed confused. "What's wrong?" he asked, and Curly shrugged, revealing his whole face for once. He had a rather big jacket, which hid a lot of his face. Ponyboy sighed. He knew Curly wouldn't say it before he pretty much forced it outta him. But forcing something out of Curly Shepard was begging for a harsh beating. And Ponyboy didn't want that.

They kept walking in silence and Ponyboy glanced on Curly, but he didn't say anything. They didn't hold hands. They would if it had been dark. Curly was always careful, knowing his brother would kill him if he found out. Same with The Curtis's. He didn't want that at all. Curly sat down on a bench and lit himself a smoke, staring into nothing. Pony sat down. "Somethin' buggin' ya?" he asked after a while and Curly glanced on him, taking a drag from his smoke, not answering. He was the kind you could talk to in an hour and he never listened or even bothered to say anything. The hood took another slow drag from his smoke.

"It's never been like that, y'know. Me and ma mama ain't really gettin' 'long too well and we're always shoutin' and stuff when we're in the same room." He said suddenly, before taking another drag of his smoke. He smoked a lot. All the time really. He was worse than Pone himself. "You liked it when you weren't fightin' then?" Pony asked and Curly wrinkled his nose at the question. "I don't know. It confuses me." He said and Pony knew what Curly meant. Curly wanted thing simple. He either got along or didn't get along with a person. It was either right or wrong. He needed it black on white.

"She's your ma. It would be weird if ya never had a moment ya got along." Ponyboy said with a nod and he felt Curly's hand in his. The youngest greaser gave Curly's hand a light squeez and looked up in the sky. It was dark by now. That was why Curly had taken his hand. The dark was safe.

Curly moved, sitting close to Ponyboy, resting his head on Pony's shoulder, sighing slightly. He wore confusion in his eyes. Frustration in his eyes. It was getting to his head. "I ain't likin' this, Pony. It's easier when everything's normal." He said, almost mumbling and Ponyboy ran a hair through his boyfriend's hair. "I know.."


End file.
